Day 2: Tāmaki Makaurau
Welcome
Yesterday we played our second show at the Hollywood, Avondale.
Today I am thrilled to introduce a guest blog written by none other than my creative and talented cat Bernice.
I was sleeping on my chair in the lounge until my mum woke me up with heavy kisses on my head. Quite often I sleep on the end of the bed but last night I was locked out of the bedroom after the mattress attacked me and I slaid it in self-defence. I began my day with some low-key hunting, continuing work on a long-term project of mine to cull the invasive Plague Skink population by invasive lizard at a time. It didn’t take me long to meet my target for the morning and I brought a dismembered carcass inside to remind my parents that they haven’t been pulling their weight in this important conservation mission. My dad didn’t want to take a photo of the carcass but here is a picture of me relaxing after he cleaned everything up.
For breakfast I had a few mouthfuls of Hill’s Dental Care Biscuits, a chicken flavoured kibble, served mostly on my plate but with a few on the floor because my parents are often careless when they serve my meals.
It is important to take care of your teeth, and I bloody hate brushing them, so these dental biscuits suit my needs perfectly.
It was shaping up to be a beautiful day by this point, so I headed outside to continue my inspection of the grounds, checking the vegetable garden for anomalies and then working my way through the hydrangea bushes along the driveway, one of the main routes of ingress for enemy cats who lack the sensible judgement that should prevent them from using my yard as a thoroughfare.
Certainly, it was hot work, and it felt like spring was almost upon us, although it could be that I was overdressed in my winter coat. I found a shady place to rest in the bushes of the front garden, a fine vantage point to observe the footpath and the passers-by, and I waited patiently, enjoying the caress of the warm sun and the cool breeze.
Always in search of the perfect sleeping temperature I had to abandon the bushes when they grew too cold, heading indoors to the lounge to try my luck in one of my couch spots. The north-facing front room of my house gets ample afternoon light, and I settled into what seemed like a promising sleeping pose, disturbed only briefly by my dad when he said goodbye to as he left the house to head to soundcheck.
I must have been enjoying a very deep sleep when my mum came home because I don’t even remember her taking this photo of me.
At some point my mum changed into her evening coat and drove off in her white box, leaving me to look after the house. My dad came back and cooked himself a dinner on the kitchen box, neglecting to offer me a portion, which I responded to by passive-aggressively sleeping on my favourite chair.
The sun went down, and I continued to sleep on my favourite chair on my favourite blanket while my dad sat across the room working on his typing box, stupidly ignoring this perfect opportunity to sleep that I was utterly maximising. He left me to continue my work, donning his evening coat and agreeing to check all the bushes on my behalf as he made his way to the train station. I lay still, relaxed but vigilant, guarding the house with my life.
Later in the evening I heard my mum driving her box down the driveway and I raced out to welcome her home, delivering my security report while receiving my head massage. For my good work I was allowed back into the bedroom again where I fell asleep in a warm spot, tucked against my mum’s legs. It could have been the perfect sleep but when my dad got home a few hours later the mattress attacked and I was locked out of the room.